Engaging Communication

Engaging CommunicaitonAnother morning with my grumpy 16 year-old daughter. She keeps reminding me that she is not a morning person, and I get that, but I still try to communicate.

What am I thinking? After she pours sour milk into her beautiful bowl of cereal with fresh strawberries, I try again to speak to her. All I receive are grunts and groans, and I give up, wishing her a good day, and asking if she can please pick up her room before she leaves. Why did I add that?! Adding insult to injury…my solace was remembering my recent conversation with my mom where she confessed that she was “exactly the same in the morning,” when she was a teenage girl.

The good news is that we usually have a better time in the afternoon.  I have regular college meetings with her, as a mother and college consultant, and asked her to sign up for a summer program that she is actually interested in attending. It is called Camp Swift and she would volunteer to be a counselor for underprivileged kids for a week. Strangely, if I ask her at our “meetings, things get done. In addition, she is heading to Israel for 4 weeks, has received scholarship money through various organizations, and will visit some family in New York prior to the trip.

As much as she wants time to relax, sit in the sun and hang out with friends, I feel she will still have time for that, as well as enhancing her resume and feeling good about herself. These are the goals I set up for all my students as well; and even when it is not easy to communicate, there are ways to engage…like taking them out for yogurt on Wednesdays during pajama night- 50% off yogurt and a great time to connect!!

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